So, it used to be that once a year we would all get together to go to this comic and toy convention in town that had just started up. You guessed it. It was called TRI-CON! (Tri-con!) (tri-con!). It was basically the only thing that we did together as a podcast group. Ever. We all went together the first time, and then the second year Murdock & Dwight went together and Sullivan went much later. This, the third and least exciting year, Sullivan didn’t even bother to go. Instead, he lost a fight with a tree branch, shit his pants and took a knee on a hillside. Murdock & Dwight still went though. So there’s that. Also, as luck would have it, policemen from the two major cities in West Virginia hate each other, and the cities’ respective newspapers tell different stories about a recent event. And no, that event didn’t have anything to do with Sullivan shitting his pants. SBP!!
“This is Seal Team 6 – we’re about the firebomb this McDonald’s – over.”
I posted this on my personal Facebook Page a few hours ago. People seemed to like it. Nobody has bad-mouthed me about it like they did my post about Mormons (although I asked the Mormons to correct me, and they never did – guess it’s too late now. MY POST WON OHIO FOR OBAMA!). Anyway, here it is for you fine folks. Feel free to spread it around. Maybe it holds some truth for you, too.
As a side-note, the above picture is a real thing that happened today in Follensbee, WV.
I would like to point out to all the crazy people on the internet that today is no different than yesterday.
Some other people got elected over some other people and the President of the United States stayed the same. I find it ironic that we “crazy liberals” had to endure 8 years of George W. Bush and we survived on the other side, yet when the conservatives don’t get their way “the world is in more turmoil now than ever” and “America has died today” and we’re going to fly a distress flag at McDonald’s in No Place, West Virginia (although I think it would be hysterical to send the National Guard through the walls and windows of that place and then, after the smoke clears, say “Is everything ok? We saw your distress flag and came to help. Where’s the trouble?”). You guys will all make it through Barack Obama’s 8 years, too.
The world is no different today than it was yesterday. America is LITERALLY no different today than it was yesterday. You want to make America and the world a better place? Let’s all join forces to make it better instead of staunchly fighting against it. All of you “He’s not MY President” assholes need to learn how this country works instead of fighting against it. George W. Bush was MY President, even though I didn’t vote for him. Ever. And yeah, I called those people that said Bush wasn’t their President assholes, too. Because they were. It’s just an ignorant, uneducated thing to say.Embrace the country and help make it better instead of fighting the people in charge and hindering progress that can be made. Then, in 2016, try to find a candidate that is actually worthwhile, instead of just rallying behind the only one you can. It’s a fresh start in 2016. For everyone. Don’t squander it by being smarmy, elitist, back-stabbing, name-calling, racist, Chicken Little screaming, “poor little me” OR “poor the world” because only you know what’s right and good, snarky, unbendable, unrelenting, ridiculous jerks. That goes for BOTH sides. Be a country instead of a PARTY. Be people instead of robots. Be kind and helpful instead of continuing to be part of the problem. But most of all…be AMERICANS. Everyone. Together.
Stop the holier-than-thou acts and let’s make this country great again. Or continue it’s greatness. Or make it GREATER than it is RIGHT NOW. Either way, where’s the harm in wanting to live in the greatest country in the world? There isn’t any. But we have to work TOGETHER to make it that way. We HAVE to. ALL OF US: the “crazy, godless, disgusting, homo-loving, dope-smoking, sex-pervert liberals” and the “ultra right-wing, hate-mongering, fanatical, God-fearing, homo-hating conservatives” alike and everyone in-between. Get over it. All of it. Move forward. Open your minds. Live a little. Once you realize that there’s more to our country than just being bitter and fighting every single thing you can if it doesn’t belong to your own party, your life will be better. I promise.Now let’s all get on the bus and let’s go for a ride. Roll down the windows and crank the radio. Time to make the world jealous of how awesome we are.
"Back in my day we used coal scrip to buy milk. And we liked it!" - Sullivan
This composite shows the front and back of a milk token from my elementary school – Gallaher Elementary. I figure they used tokens to either keep bullies from getting rich off of milk money or to avoid the “free” stigma Murdock’s school subjected the poor kids to.
(MURDOCK EDIT: I’m pretty sure this means Sullivan bullied some poor child who ended up going milkless. I mean, how else do you still have a token in your possession? YOU MONSTER!)