Episode #84:The Schneider Apprentice

Episode 84: The ArtworkOnce every four years, something stirs deep in the Elk River in West By Jesus Virginia. That’s right folks, the olympics are coming to town! And you know what that means! Kathy Bates, the owner of Titties™, invites us all to take a walk on the wild side Chad & Gunther. Don’t worry about getting vaccinated for the poison water, or for anything at all, because comedy legend Rob Schneider, along with his trusty bodyguard, Schneider from “One Day At A Time”, will give you a guided tour of all things wild and wonderful. So grab your Cheddar Bay Biscuits and your 2014 Death Pool, hitch a ride on the angry Mothman and sing the German parts of “So Long, Farewell”. There’s so much to live for! SBP!! (brought to you by Freedom Industries – all rights reserved)


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Episode #83: Cannonball Run 2014

Episode 83: The ArtworkIn this new episode, a wide variety of eccentric competitors participate in a wild and illegal cross-country car race. You’ll root for them all…but you’ll never guess who wins. The answer, of course, is either T-Arn, American Bandstand Johnson or Lou Henner. Only time will tell. And if you think that description sounds like the logline for The Cannonball Run, you’re on your way to not only a great January, but a pretty exciting 2014. If you don’t think that description sounds like anything you’ve ever heard of before, you seriously need to catch up on your “wild and illegal cross-country car race” movies. Start with Cannonball Run II. Here’s one person that isn’t going to win: Conrad Bain. Join us for an eclectic dose of comedy platinum! SBP!!

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Episode #82: The Monkey’s Paw

Episode 82: The Cover Art

The ball is dropping on 2013, which means the likelihood of us living another year gets iffy at best. But we wouldn’t want to go out on anything other than THREE EPISODES IN A ROW! Can you believe it? And over the holidays, too! In this episode we revisit Dwight’s refrigerator. It’s been several weeks, after all. Has anything changed for the better? Or worse? What’s growing in that tinfoil? It’s probably about the same as Sullivan’s dinner of circus peanuts. In this final episode of 2013, we attack the last bastion of theatre fan fiction and snuff out the final bit of good will any Browncoat might have collected. Then, as a public service, we gently discuss how to thwart menstruation on a deserted island, or anywhere, really (presuming you have access to monkeys – and who doesn’t?). Happy New Year from Slightly Burned Pants! Thanks for listening another year. Our fans are the BEST fans. We hope your ball drops, too! SBP!!

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Episode #81: The Ken Burns Paradox

Episode 81: The Cover ArtIt’s the 2013 SBP Holiday Sullivantacular! Marvel at the Festival of Dwights! Do whatever it is you do during MurdocKwanza! In this, the freshest of new episodes, we talk about all that holiday stuff you listeners love mentally digesting: suicide, why things in movies can’t be real, suicide, who Sullivan texts during podcast recording, suicide, why the next oldest generation loves eating at the world’s worst buffets, suicide, the Mothman, suicide, Dwight thinking he’s in better shape than Sullivan, even though Sullivan has now run two 5Ks, suicide, Sullivan’s Christmas cats and his long-standing nightmares of secret extra cats, suicide, and we share a heart-warming story about Steven Seagal and DMX that will really make you sad you (and everyone else) missed the G+ Hangout (that no one knew about, especially Murdock) during the show. All this and probably more! Happy Holidays from everyone here at SBP!!

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Episode #80: The Herpes Ridden Flute of Molly Hatchet

Episode 80 Cover ArtPerhaps the worst thing about taking several weeks off is that once we come back, there’s nothing to talk about. I mean, sure, we could talk about school shootings or Nelson Mandela’s death or Thanksgiving or the impending holiday season, or even just simple things like what we’ve been up to while we were on our hiatus, but let’s be serious – it would be a much better episode if we just talked about random stuff for half an hour and then went back to one of our long-lost segments (spoiler alert, DOUG!: it’s a CRAIGSLIST AD!), right? Save the sap for 2014, bitches. This is SBP! (Apologies to Jethro Tull. You’ll see why.) DOUBLE SBP!!!

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Episode #79: Run Pig Run Run

Slightly Burned Pants: Episode 79 Cover ArtThe thrilling adventures of Slightly Burned Pants continues two weeks in a row, with the strange case of Sullivan having a cat on Oxy. Sorry. Oxygen. Either way, though, right? I mean, that’s crazy. In other news, Sullivan seems surprised that he would sweat while running. Also, in perhaps more frightening news, Sullivan RAN SOMEWHERE and it wasn’t AWAY FROM SOMETHING (other than his responsibilities). The world is obviously ending soon. Thirdly, we discuss the ups and downs – highs and lows – of pissing in your local library. Do we mean in the bathrooms at the library or on the very books themselves? Should Sullivan borrow his cat’s Oxygen when he goes for a jog? Find out the answers to some or one of these questions in this new episode of… SBP!!

Dwight and his bandana.

The camera couldn’t contain the power of the Slick Ric bandana

Music:
“Electric Babies” by Left Arm (http://www.myspace.com/leftarm)


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Episode #78: Don’t Mistake Stupidity For Courage

Slightly Burned Pants Podcast: Episode 78 Cover ArtReal life never seems to get in the way of REAL comedians, like Sinbad or Jeff Dunham. Even if they don’t sell enough seats for you to show up, or give away tickets to members of #SBPants, or one of your hilariously racist puppets gets sick or is the victim of a hate crime, you still get out of bed the same way, put on your parachute pants one leg at a time and jam a stick up something’s ass to start the day. This is their story. Also, at some point Sullivan decides he’d rather go to the bathroom than participate in the podcast, and a cop shot at and pepper sprayed a squirrel. Sometimes it’s better to just NOT get out of bed at all. If we aren’t proof of that, nothing is. Aren’t you glad we’re back? SBP!!

Murdock and Dwight recording Episode 78,

Murdock and Dwight recording Episode 78,

Music:
“Electric Babies” by Left Arm (http://www.myspace.com/leftarm)


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Episode #77: Of Whales and Woe

Slightly Burned Pants, Episode 77: The Cover ArtWe’re wheeling out the new Fall schedule for Slightly Burned Pants in this episode. Not only do we sing the praises of all the new shows, but we spend an inordinate amount of time on just how impressive The Blacklist is, or at least *could* be. In other news, we non sequitur into a Sullivan News Story™ that will keep you guessing to the very end, which, as luck would have it, we have just arrived at for this description! It’s a quick ending, like going to the Spider-Man abortion clinic, but that’s what happens in an SBP Bingo™-tastic episode, folks, so, just like Aerosmith, you don’t wanna miss a thing! Tell a friend! SBP!!

More at slightlyburnedpants.com

Music:
“Electric Babies” by Left Arm (http://www.myspace.com/leftarm)


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Episode #76: Live From The Republic of Brooklyn

Episode 76: The Cover ArtWho knew that only a week later we would be releasing another episode of the show? It’s even #76, the number right after #75! We’re so good at podcasting!! In this episode, we turn up the heat on the hit television programs Empty Nest and Soap, while lamenting Richard Mulligan’s long-standing relationship with Satan (we might’ve just made that last part up simply for this episode description – see? It’s like an Easter Egg just for the fans that know how to read!). We fly off the handle a bit while discussing famed twitter user Spike Lee as well as fundamentally breaking down exactly what makes a hooker with “really bad UTI” the epitome of comedy gold. It’s just your typical episode of the funniest improvised podcast on television. Also, we wish we were on television. SBP!!

More at slightlyburnedpants.com

Music:
“Electric Babies” by Left Arm (http://www.myspace.com/leftarm)


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Episode #75: Joe Estevez Has The Hook-up For Orgasms

Episode 75: The ArtworkHere’s a thing we probably shouldn’t do: we probably shouldn’t let Murdock just randomly bring up stuff to talk about. You know how sometimes our show is not, how you might say, “structured”? Well, in this instance, the first half of the show is basically Murdock bringing up random topics of his own interest and forcing us to talk about them (and worse, forcing Sullivan to edit it into something vaguely listenable). The second half of the show is a Sullivan News Story™ about blowing yourself up while shooting a t-shirt cannon. In this three-quarters of a century episode, we cover everything from the death of #BlurredLines to the sanctity of Murphy Brown to the entire filmography of Emilio’s uncle Joe. So find a buddy, dust off your SBP Bingo™ board and buckle up for the train into non sequitur town. Why would you ever listen to anything else? SBP!!

More at slightlyburnedpants.com

Music:
“Electric Babies” by Left Arm (http://www.myspace.com/leftarm)


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